What is Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Relationships

Before we can get into how to really implement any type of change in our current system of Governance, we need to understand what is Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Governance (C/CIG).

Some of you may have heard of seminars and webinars out there today called Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Communication and Team Building.  It is a system of communication among pears for the advancement of highly effective teams in big business and industry. Two of the largest industries that use this technique are the Airline and Medical Industry.

It is process of initiating communication among all those involved in the team, the freedom to speak and communicate for the betterment and safety of the customer, without fear of reprisal.  It allows everyone, regardless of level of education, position, gender and race to speak up freely if they see a problem or have an idea that would increase the effectiveness of their departments within their area of industry.

The more I learned and practiced this style of leadership, the more I recognized that we lacked this type of communication in our governance on so many levels, that I could see how and why our government has become so inefficient.  And then as I reviewed and pondered the techniques of C/CIG, I came to understand that this is exactly the type of governance the Founders of our Great nation had been practicing when they set up the newborn Government that was over original 13 States.  This form of governance literally involved the people from the bottom up and maintained clear communication from the top down.  Everyone was on a level playing field when it came to communication and rule of governance.  Truly a government of the people by the people.

Ok, so without going any deeper into American history or into the finer workings of a governance of this kind.  I want to bring it down to the individual level that is applicable to all.  In an explanation and application, that starts at the very root and can grow up into society as a whole, in the home.

First of all  Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Governance (C/CIG), hereafter to be referred to as Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Relationship (C/CIR), starts in the home.  That is correct, all means of training in communication literally starts in the home. As I surveyed homes it became evident that many families have not been taught how to properly communicate in a collegial manner.  What takes place in many homes is an Hierarchal Relationship.  That is the father, dad or in the case of the absence of one, the mother is the head, and everyone else is subservient to the head.  However, over the last 60 years we have seen how this works more to dividing the family than it uniting it.  An explosion of rebellion to the Hierarchal leadership/Patriarchal leadership in the home took place in the 1960’s and ever since a lot of homes are in a mess because we keep trying to use the same old system of communication in the home, the “do a I say” rule.

This type of leadership led to the division of the home.  Now the hierarchal leadership in the home wasn’t the only factor involved in this.  If any honest person looks into our education system and the media played its part in this by placing so much emphases on individualism and self instead of the family.  This put into the home individual hierarchal competition and caused division that destroyed the peace and prosperity of the home. It is still on going today.

How could we have equality in society if we didn’t have equality in the home?

Well we couldn’t. Today we see the result in how the hierarchal leadership in the home, business, schools and Government has played more a part of dividing homes and society than to unifying it.  The only true unifying factor is open communication in relationships.  And that must start in the home.

In my home I encourage open collegial interactive communication without fear of reprimand, that is fear of punishment or some other form of chastisement.  Co-Equal Means equal in all status, while the Collegial meaning “equal colleagues”, so no matter our race, sex, age or education, Interactive communication means, a back and forth conversation not just of speaking freely but more importantly Listening.  Part of any good relationship is listening.  From my experience in the ministry I have found that it is more important to listen than to speak.

I allow my wife to speak to me freely about anything including my attitude.  And we give our children that same opportunity with us and each other.  We set our ego’s aside and we open ourselves for hurt, if need be, but we know it is for the betterment of the family.  How else are we to grow as a family and be happy if we are afraid to speak truthfully to each other.  This is all part of creating a great Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Relationships and a family team.

One step in applying this to your home is to always have a time you come together as a whole family.  Right now we can do this each night when we get together to read the Bible and pray.  Before we pray I will ask everyone how their day was and if they want to share anything.  They are free to express themselves in any manner they wish on any topic.  Our youngest child, a boy, doesn’t quite get it yet but one day he will.

Ok, Maybe you don’t read the Bible, well how about a good book or some other daily gathering.  But don’t limit that open communication to just those times, let them know at any time they can speak honestly and openly without any fear of being ridiculed or not taken seriously.  Whether in a group or individually everyone needs to know they can speak openly and freely.

When we plan a trip, it is not always going to be to a place where I want to go, but it will be  a place where everyone would like to go.  And if we can’t all agree then we vote on the places we will visit.  Not everyone wins but at least it was fair.  A simple example is this, my youngest girl wants to hunt rocks and gemstones, my oldest girl wants to learn about American Indian culture so we look for a place where we can do both of those activities and we plan our trip around that.  I really don’t care where we go, as long as we go together and enjoy each others company and deepen our relationship with each other.  But having this style Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Relationship puts me in a Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Leadership position that results in good decisions for our family team.

Your spouse, your children or your siblings, your mother and father are all good places you can learn more about yourself.  The greatest form of self discovery can come right from your own home.  It sometimes hurts to hear it from them but it is easier than learning those lessons in the world alone and separate from your family.

The home is the first place we need to learn how to communicate in a collegial interactive way openly, honestly and without any fear of reprisal or repercussions.  Establishing co-equal/collegial interactive communication in the home prepares us for dealing with people in the world.  If we learn how to be an effective team in our homes we will become a better team in our schools and then in the business and governmental sector as well.

Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Relationship is the ability to speak and listen freely, then use that information and communication to become better as a person and a more productive individual in society.  Once we learn this in the home we can take it to the next level and apply it to each and every aspect of Business, Society and Governance.  Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Relationships is the first step of Co-Equal/Collegial Interactive Leadership.

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